Ohayo. Ohayo. New Jersey.

One of the hallmarks of the Japanese language is its varying degrees of politeness.  You can understand how politeness is held in such high esteem by looking at the language itself.  There are three general levels.  First is plain or simple form and is used amongst friends and immediate family to show familiarity and friendship.  Next you have long or polite form.  This is used a lot in the workplace, particularly when speaking to someone of a higher “status.”  It’s also used when you meet people for the first time.  It’s probably the safest style to use if you’re unsure.  And then there is the super formal “keigo.”  This is used by people that work in the hospitality industry…anything from store clerks to phone assistance.  The difference between plain and polite form is generally just how you conjugate the verb.  For keigo, there is a whole different set of vocabulary to use.  This makes it incredibly difficult to navigate some of the set phrases in retail stores.  In fact, I used to find it so intimidating that as soon as they spoke to me, I would get flustered and make a beeline for the door (I’m sure many a clerk have had the passing thought of, “Maybe he was dropped as a child.”).  Luckily, I can now stumble my way through these encounters…I just hope a future in Japanese hospitality is not in my cards.

The end of March not only marks the end of the school year, but it is also the end of the fiscal year.  And with this new year comes many sobetsukai’s (farewell parties…not to be confused with sAbetsukai, which would mean “discrimination party”).  Public employees, including teachers, are subject to a nationwide shifting of personnel every April.  Employees could potentially have a job shift from one end of the country to the other, but from what I can tell, most of it stays within the prefecture, if not the same subprefecture (applicable to Hokkaido, primarily).  Even though administrators try to keep moves somewhat local, the employees aren’t actually informed of the move until a couple weeks before.  The notifications all happen on the same day and are announced at the morning meetings.  I missed the notifications at my schools, but apparently there are some vocal protests by colleagues (I’ll have to make it a point to see this next year).  This seems like it would be particularly straining on employees with families, having to uproot every couple of years.  Growing up in the military, we moved every three years, but there was certainty in the fact that we knew it was every three years.  Here, I don’t think they know for sure what their lengths of stay will be.  I’m sure that they’re accustomed to it, but I’m also sure that it probably isn’t that easy for them. 

As far as teachers go, I have developed my own theory as to who stays and who goes.  If you are a homeroom teacher with a class moving into its second or third year, you are probably staying.  If you just moved the previous year, odds are that you probably won’t be moving again this year.  Age and experience might give you a level of seniority as well.  (I’ll have more to report once I figure out who moves from my high school)  Otherwise…you’ll have to consider how to pack all your stuff.  (Maybe that’s why Japanese people use futons!  If they have to move frequently, futons are much more portable than actual beds.  Much more efficient, eh?)  None of my English teachers are changing at either of my schools, so the changes won’t affect me directly in the teaching capacity.  However, my office at the board of education is switching around a bit.  Two folks are retiring, so at least we knew about those way ahead of time, but the two that are retiring are the nicest of the bunch (which isn’t putting down the rest of the office, because really, I’ve got a pretty awesome crew of people).  Thank goodness that they’re not moving away! 

I’m curious to see how the dynamic of my schools and offices might change with the switch-arounds.  There will be welcome parties to usher in the new faces and everyone will get to know each other thanks to the alcohol and karaoke.  (By the way, my office is all ridiculously good at karaoke.  They all belted out their Japanese power ballads with emotional flare while I did what I’m sure was a comical interpretation of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing”) I’ll keep you all posted.      

PS:  I found out recently that my office IS indeed changing…quite a bit.  There are eight people in the office, including me, and three of them are changing…including my supervisor.  Bummer!   But luckily, no one is really moving away, just retiring or switching positions in the same town. But now, I’ve got to get used to a new supervisor…who happens to look a lot like a taller, more Japanese Jackie Chan.

I think this is probably the motto of the elderly folk here in Japan.  Held at a high level of respect, the elderly have the right of way in pretty much everything here.  One thing in particular that I’ve noticed is how they LOVE to walk in the middle of the street.  Even if there are sidewalks available, they seem to prefer the open road.  Driving down the road, I find it quite comical…luckily.  Otherwise, it’d have the potential to look like something out of Grand Theft Auto.

March 1^st was the official graduation date for all public high schools in Hokkaido.  I put on my suit and made my way to the high school at my usual time, on a Sunday morning…wasn’t entirely thrilled about that, but I knew students would be looking for me.  Everyone’s in their suits, even the PE teachers, and the female graduating homeroom teachers don their regal kimonos.  It’s a big deal.  We make our way into the gym and I really have no idea what to expect, except I know that there’ll be speeches and I won’t understand them.  I was certainly right about the speeches.  They were there, and there were several of them, and I didn’t understand them.  There was also a LOT of bowing—bowing to flags, bowing to the audience, bowing to the teachers, and bowing to the special guests.  And this formal regimentation did not go by quickly. 

I have to say though, that I did enjoy watching the students come up to get their diplomas.  It was like clockwork.  Your name was called.  You walked to the center of the stage and bowed.  You received your diploma.  You stepped back.  Another name was called.  That other person joins you.  Then, both of you bow.  You leave the stage and the other person steps forward to receive his diploma… so on and so forth.  The students here don’t wear special graduation gowns or uniforms.  They just wear their standard uniform plus some special graduation brooch of sorts.  Following the speeches and presentations of unknown awards came my favorite part—the singing!  My schools are big on singing here.  First they sang their catchy school anthem.  Then they sang some poppy song that everyone seemed to know.  And then the tears began!  What a contrast to all the dry ceremony that preceded this!  Each homeroom class made their way to the center of the gym and faced the audience of their peers and their parents.  The classroom speaker would shout out a line of thanks then the class would bow and make their triumphant way out of the gym. 

It’s not over just yet.  Each class makes its way to their homeroom for their final “class.”  Students are given an opportunity to share something with the class with their parents looking on.  It’s all very emotional.  These kids have been in the same class together with the same primary teacher for three years.  And with the amount of time they spend at school each day, it’s no wonder many of them get a little choked up.  Even the big burly male teachers would start crying.  It’s certainly refreshing to see this in a society that tends to hide emotions.  I admire the homeroom system they’ve got here.  The students and their teacher develop a very unique relationship that is very different from the teacher-student relationships of back in the day when I was in high school (although not the kind that ends up as a Lifetime television movie…).  Granted, it would suck to have a terrible homeroom teacher.  But it seems that every homeroom class I’ve witnessed here has a truly genuine mutual affinity between the students and the teacher.

I am going to miss this group of kids.  They were very outgoing and would come and visit me in the teachers’ office.  Yeah, they slept and talked through classes every once in a while, but they were still loads of fun.  I liked them, and they liked me.  I could certainly tell of the latter as I spent half an hour posing with students for pictures.  Since it was a commercial high school, most of these students are entering the workforce come the start of the new business year in April rather than entering college.  One student is working for the main airport in Chitose, another working for a gas company, and one other that’ll work at a prison in Sapporo.  The whole process of how they get one job over another is a mystery to me…although it probably involves some testing like most things here in Japan.  おめでとうand good luck!

This past weekend we held the annual Queens of the Drift Ice event out in Tokoro and Abashiri.  If you didn’t know, the northern and eastern coasts of Hokkaido are famous for the drift ice phenomenon that occurs at this time of year.  Tons of Asian tourists from Korea, China, and Taiwan make their way to our little cities to check out the fantastic 流氷 (pronounced ryu-hyo…it’s tricky because you have to flick the ‘r’ while still producing the ‘y’ sound in the back of your mouth).  Back in Alaska, I was used to seeing frozen ocean, but the ice didn’t move so much with the currents.  Here in Hokkaido, the ice can come and go over the course of a night, so there’s always some mystery as to whether it’ll be there the next day or not.  Many of the businesses go drift ice crazy this time of year producing all sorts of related marketable items ranging from blue drift ice beer to drift ice curry (dyed blue with white drift ice scallops floating around). 

We packed our epic weekend with myriad winter activities.  Who knew that snowmachining (“snowmobiling” to all you other people) could be so much fun?  Being from Alaska, it’s rather shocking that I’ve never been snowmachining (although the culture around it is a bit of a turn off, but I digress).  I expected us to be riding tandem but I started getting a little giddy when I saw individual machines lined up for us.  After a quick tutorial (“this is brake”—“this is go”), they had us make a lap around a track.  Then a guide broke off and we followed suit across a frozen lake.  Man alive!  It was a blast.  I did get a little headache from the fumes but flying across the powdery snow was exhilarating.  We certainly pulled in our machismo quotient for the weekend.  After our butch jaunt out on the frozen lake we embarked to a small soba shop nestled in the woods of a quiet mountain.  This place had so much zen about it that it was the perfect foil to our previous noisy adventure.  Speaking of zen and such, Hokkaido is a relatively new settlement compared to the rest of Japan and doesn’t have the ancient temples and shrines that are primary hallmarks of serenity in Japan.  Instead, Hokkaido offers it’s rugged and natural beauty to induce the same wonder.  Out here in the more remote parts of the island, all that beauty isn’t in short supply. Later, as we took a chair lift up the local ski hill, the weather couldn’t have been better and we could see for miles—frozen lakes, small forests, distant mountains, and then the ocean.

Following our short play time on the Abashiri ski-jō we set off for the main event of our weekend: the Abashiri Ice-Breaker Drift Ice Cruise.  We were taking the sunset cruise (how romantic!) and were herded on to the boat with the throngs of tourists…although, per usual, I couldn’t help but run into some Japanese folks I knew.  After breaking several rules (standing on the smoke stack, standing on benches, poking at strangers with sticks…) before the comprehendible (ie: English) announcements came on, we were off into the icy sea.  Oh, and I have to mention that the entire time we were out at sea, there was always something on over the loud speakers.  It was either an announcer’s voice or some grainy enka music.  The peaceful and quiet icy ocean, and then here comes the humans, on their loud boat, piddling through the ice.  We had an interesting discussion about how the Japanese seem to have an aversion to silence (with the exception of office settings, because as I type this, my clickity clack on the key board is the prevailing noise).  The boat tour is a good example, but also if you visit homes there’s always a tv on, or if you go skiing, that same grainy enka music is blasted from speakers on the lifts.  Ok, let’s back away from that tangent before I make dig myself further into the grandiose generalizations hole.  It was remarkable to cut through all the ice on the boat and watch huge sheets of ice break apart.  It was a bit like watching plate tectonics in action.  Needless to say, it certainly satisfied my taste for destruction (I used to take small sheets of ice when I was young and smash them on my head because it sounded like glass.  The things we do for fun in Alaska…).  The views were glorious and the skies amazing.  Two mountains made an appearance for us, one of which—Shari-dake—a couple friends and I will be climbing come summer. 

 All that time in the ocean surrounded by drift ice made us all a bit chilly, so once we docked, we high-tailed it to an onsen.  I could go on for hours about onsens and how fantastic they are, but I’ll spare you.  It’s just a shame we don’t have them back home…so relaxing!  Post-onsen, we got our grub on at my favorite restaurant in Abashiri—Bistarai.  I may have mentioned this Nepalese gem previously, but it bears repeating.  There were various naan, curries (made spicy just for us!), Nepalese-d fried rice and stir fry noodles, chickpea samosas, and lassi for miles.  It was quite the royal feast to cap off such a Queen-y event.

A kingdom of gigantic snow sculptures, millions of snowmen (even a young Calvin would be proud of), and smoking enclosures made completely of ice…otherwise known as Sapporo during its famed Yuki Matsuri (Snow Festival) was quite the sight to behold.  It’s a “must do at least once” if you are in Hokkaido.  Coming from a place where we have ice and snow sculptures of our own (Iced Geodesic Living Options), I’ve seen the run-of-the-mill sculptures, however these were of a gigantic scale and could stand to impress even the seasoned folks.  My fave was a life size replica of Seoul’s Namdaemun (Northern Gate) that was built by the Japanese military (can’t you feel the irony?).  I even got to see some of Japan’s Olympic gold medalists as they stood in front of their giant snow replicas.  While snow is cool, it isn’t as cool as ice (haha).  Sapporo’s red-light district, Susukino, was lined with ice sculptures.  The polarity between families looking at wholesome sculptures and the seedy secretary bars only added to the unique atmosphere of the festival.  Sapporo certainly doesn’t play down its dark underbelly during the festival as I was asked several times if I wanted to come on in from the cold…unfortunately for me, bleached blonde hair and girls in nurses outfits aren’t quite my thing.

Just prior to this snow and ice extravaganza, a few friends and I made an excursion out to Jozenkei just south of the city.  It’s a touristy onsen town nestled in the mountains.  When we went, there weren’t as many tourists as I expected and the streets were mostly empty.  We found a lovely hotel onsen and soaked for an hour overlooking the snowy mountains.  Certainly doesn’t get better than that.  I found the most charming part of the town to be its random outdoor footbath.  It was a small gazebo-like enclosure with benches and a small natural onsen spring.  Everything was covered in snow and beautiful doesn’t quite sum up its character.

Back in Sapporo, the nightlife didn’t fail to impress, as always.  Callie had her Sparking (!) Hip Hop performance at a small theater in Susukino.  The Gaijin crowd was there to represent, in full force, and we were a bit of a running joke throughout the night.  Some of the acts were surprisingly good and made me miss the good ole Repertory Dance Group days of college-dom.  Being as popular as I am, I met up with some other folks from another part of the island after the dance performance and we struck out to get our karaoke on.  And that we certainly did.  Even after that, at around 3 in the morning, with beer in hand (so fashionable here in Japan) we toted on over to a big arcade and tried our hand at some taiko drumming, UFO Catcher, and group Mario Kart racing.  We were super cool and I know you’re jealous.

*As a preface to this post, I actually wrote this back in January when it really was cold.  It’s late March now and the long thaw is starting.  I’m real good at keeping this up to date, btw.*

Although, it’s not quite as cold as it is back in Alaska, which happens to be everyone’s favorite question to ask me.  It’s certainly cold enough though, and given that they don’t have central heating here, it can certainly feel colder than home.  I do have two kerosene heaters strategically placed in my house, AND they vent outside so I can keep them on for extended periods without becoming headlines in the news.  This is good news given that I’ve been told that I live in the coldest part of town.  Although, the cold isn’t so bad so long as it’s accompanied by a bunch of snow, which it thankfully is.  Hokkaido snow certainly lives up to its fabled reputation as the best powder in the world, as I discovered snowboarding the other week.  It also isn’t so bad to shovel since it’s so light.  We’ve got what’s considered the best little ski hill in the area, but I have yet to experience it.  The close-by onsen should be an added incentive.  How perfect would a day of skiing/boarding be when it is followed by a nice warm soak in the onsen?  Additionally, my town has a regulation size speed skating rink that you can use at certain times for whatever.  Looks like I have the opportunity to get my skating legs back.

I’ve got to mention how the schools don’t have central heating either.  The hallways are FRIGID.  You have to run from one class to the other or else your extremities will fall off.  However, once you get into a classroom, they turn into balmy saunas.  I think their heaters only have two settings, on or off, so they have to creatively ventilate their rooms by opening strategic windows and doors and timing it so that the proximal students don’t freeze from the intruding cold air.  It can be quite the production.  I’ve found it wise to wear layers.    

This is who I stood next to in the security line at the Incheon International Airport on my home: 

 http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=7OzabifGLT4

Son Dam Bi.  This song was playing EVERYWHERE.  Kinda catchy…

Yes, this is a full post just on food.  One of the main reasons I went to Korea was for the food.  Korean food has a character that is completely its own and very different from the better known Chinese and Japanese cuisines.  The main characteristics that stand out to me are the use of grilling, sesame oil, vinegar, and the sweet, full-bodied heat of Korean red pepper.  Japan has little to no traditional spicy food and their taste for heat is practically non-existent, so it was great to indulge in some food that cleared the nasal passages and made me sweat.

First, the street food.  You could find little stands all over the city and people would crowd around to get their fill of thobukgi (rice cakes in a thick red spicy (!) sauce), manduk (gyoza-like dumplings), oden (skewered fish cake), hottuk (grilled sweet bread with brown sugar filling), and clotted blood sausages.  This was a welcome contrast to the street food, rather the lack thereof, I’ve seen in Japan.  The food was perfect for the cold weather and could easily replace a full meal.  It was great to see girls in their crazy Seoul fashion munching on fried chicken feet and blood sausages.  I enjoyed the thobukgi the most, but man, would it set my mouth on fire!  With each order you also get a cup of broth taken from the vat that the oden is simmering in, but that would only exacerbate the burning feeling.  Luckily, vending machines were plentiful, and cool beverages were available to stave that delightful burning sensation. 

Oh, and speaking of fried chicken feet…I didn’t have any, BUT I did have fried chicken while in Korea.  Their fried chicken makes Kingfish’s (a great soul food restaurant in my old Seattle neighborhood) look like KFC.  I know it’s not the first place you think of when you hear fried chicken, but there’s something about the fried chicken here.

To contrast the fried goodness with some vegetarian delights, Soo took me to Sanchon in Insadong.  Sanchon’s menu is built around the guidelines specified in Korean Buddhist monks’ diets.  This basically means food that is prepared without using animal products and eaten out of zeldova wood bowls using wooden chopsticks.  I was told that the food was not exactly vegan, but I couldn’t figure out where the animal products came in to play here.  It was quite the feast too!  Our table was covered in small dishes, each with a different vegetable or tofu delight.  Just to think, ten years ago I wouldn’t have even touched these dishes as I had an “aversion” to vegetables.  My how far I’ve come.  The restaurant was pretty neat too and would hold daily performances while you eat.  I noticed there were a ton of foreigners there and was a bit surprised because the restaurant seemed so off the beaten Insadong path.  I later discovered that it was a featured restaurant in Lonely Planet (which, by the way, I do NOT recommend.  I just wish the guys at Rough Guides had one on Korea…).

And then there was the traditional Korean food!  Kimchi galore.  Daeji kalbi barbecues.  Grilled fish picked to the bone.  Sumptuous jiggae (stews).  Bibimbap.  And of course, my favorite, bibimnangmyun (cold buckwheat noodles with a spicy sesame chili sauce).  I was lucky as my “aunt” made me a Korean breakfast every morning, usually consisting of fried tofu, rice, kimchi, and this delicious soup made from a Korean bean sprout.  I was in food heaven.  It was pretty funny as my family kept asking me if I could handle spicy foods or whether I knew what this or that was…as if they seemed to forget that I have a Korean mother and I visited them three years ago.  OH and just like in Japan, I was complimented several times on my skillful chopstick use (although, Korean chopsticks are very different as they are flat and made of metal, which can be tricky sometimes).

Lastly, the foreign-ish food.  Ja jang myun is the reason I say foreign-ish.  It’s a dish that was developed in Incheon’s Chinatown so I’m not sure whether to call it Korean or Chinese.  The best ones tend to come from Chinese restaurants with Korean owners.  It uses noodles similar to those found in yakisoba but is covered in a black bean (not the Mexican type) sauce and loaded with seafood and veggies.  My first night in Incheon, Ji-Young took me to her favorite Chinese restaurant and we indulged in some amazing ja jang myun.  One meal that I was particularly excited about was a burger I got at a restaurant called Cook n’ Heim.  Not only was it big and loaded with real pickles and big lettuce and tomatoes, but it had REAL bacon!  I’ve yet to have real bacon since leaving the States, and man alive!, it was fabulous.  I also got to indulge in some decent Tex-Mex, Starbucks (of course), wine that doesn’t give me a headache, and a gigantic waffle sundae.    

It’s a good thing I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.

When I got to Korea, I was met by Ji-Young, my second cousin, once removed.  That’s kind of how my family in Korea goes…it’s all second cousins, their children, and great-uncles and aunts.  I think I do have some closer family there, but I don’t know them all that well and I don’t think the channels of communication are very open with my family back in America.  I split my time in Korea between my extended family in Incheon and a friend from college in Seoul.  Incheon, the city west of Seoul with the international airport, is developing into quite a city of its own—separate from the shadow of Seoul.  They developed a whole new part of the city, Songdo, on what I believe to be reclaimed land, and it’s got huge apartment buildings and has plans for a gigantic tower, a la Dubai.  I found the Incheon Museum of Korean Emigration terribly interesting as I didn’t know much on the subject prior to my visit.  Who knew that there was a sizeable Korean population in Paraguay?  While in Incheon, I spent a good deal of time with my new little “niece” (actually another second cousin, once removed) Seoyun.  She’s just 13 months old and has a thing for attractive guys.  I think that’s why we got along so well. 

For a couple days, Ji-Young took me around to some of the major sights in Seoul including Myeong-dong, Insadong, and Seoul Tower.  Seoul has a great subway system and it’s extremely cheap and easy to use.  For me to get into Seoul from Incheon (around 40km) it only costs around 1600 won, which is about $1.60.  In Tokyo, it cost me 200 yen, or $2.00, just to go about 4 stops down on one subway line.  Myeong-dong reminded me of Shinjuku in Tokyo.  The streets were stacked with stores and restaurants, while people packed the roads.  Definitely a good area to drop your weight in cash!  We walked on over to the famous Insadong area and, true to form, it was loaded with tourists and knick knack-y shops.  There was a neat boutique mall, Ssamziegil, which was built so you can walk up three floors without using any stairs.  Insadong also has the only Starbucks in Seoul that has the word “Starbucks” written in Hangul (Korean).  Along with my great-uncle, Ji-Young and I went to Namsan to go up Seoul Tower, the highest point in the city.  Just before going up, we stopped by a park at the base of Namsan that had a time capsule commemorating Seoul’s recent 600 year birthday…and geez, it doesn’t look a day over 250 (you know how Asians are…).  A couple hundred meters up on Seoul Tower, the weather was cold, but clear, and the view was fantastic.  You can get a good idea of just how big the city is…it’s huge!  The biggest contrast to Tokyo is the abundance of apartment buildings.  They’re everywhere in Korea and contribute to Seoul having one of the highest population densities in the world.  At the base of the tower, the first thing you notice is the thousands of small locks on the fences around the tower.  All have names and messages written on them.  Couples place these locks here at the tower as a testament to their unbreakable love.  It sounds like something out of a Korean soap opera…and probably is.  In an interesting cosmic intersection, I ran into my aunt and uncle from California while in Seoul.  I just happened to be there the same time as them and they were in contact with some of the family that I was staying with so we had a brief rendezvous.  It was great to see more family half way around the world.

While in Seoul, I stayed with Soo, a good friend from college, in Sinchon—known as the Manhattan of Seoul, which is interesting because Soo went to grad school in Manhattan.  It was quite the bustling neighborhood and was at an intersection of three major universities so it was full of young folks and hip stores.  Soo took me all around Seoul to some great neighborhoods and restaurants.  I also got to indulge in some shopping (think of what rhymes with Susan Lucci) and take advantage of the favorable exchange rate.  We also got in touch with another friend from college, Becca, who happens to be teaching English, like me!, in Seoul.  We were all School of Music grads, so it was great to talk music again and have our mini-reunion.  We rang in the New Year together and celebrated Soo’s birthday a couple days later with some good wine.  It was absolutely fabulous to reconnect with these old friends, and the foreign setting made it even more memorable.  Ah, the joys of being cosmopolitan!  I wrapped up my visit with Soo at what is now my favorite place in Seoul…although I can never remember the name.  It had awesome stores, kick-ass restaurants and cafes, and a Europe meets Asia atmosphere.  There were ordinances placed so that all the new stores and restaurants had to use the existing structures but could renovate to a certain extent.  The layout was all old, cramped Korea, but the insides of many of these buildings had a cozy yet sheik modern style.  Definitely a place to revisit. 

On my last day in Korea, my “aunt” took Ji-Young and me to Panmunjeom on the border with North Korea.  It’s closest you can get to the North without an authorized tour.  The day was clear so you could see right on into the North.  All along the river that divides the two nations there are watchtowers and razor wire fences.  Panmunjeom has a rail line that used to run into the north but nothing runs on it now.  You can see where the old rail bridges used to stand over the river before they were bombed during the war.  It was sobering to think about how divided the country is and how families are still split between the two nations.  It held special resonance with me because my grandfather was originally from an area in what is now North Korea before he relocated to Cheonan, just south of Seoul.  Even amidst all the seriousness of the area, I found it amusing that there was a small amusement park and kitschy souvenir shop right at the border.  I guess it doesn’t pay to be too serious about things like this.

Panmunjeom

Seoul is a fantastic city to visit and I think that it is still a bit of an underdog as far as tourism in Asia goes.  The same goes for Korea as a whole.  It has an intriguing and somewhat mysterious history and culture, and the food (oh the food!) is amazing.  I was out here several years ago with my mom, visiting the same relatives, just after graduating college.  Then we visited more extended family outside of Seoul and made a trip to one of the old capitals.  I said then that I would have to come out again and explore places to a greater extent, and maybe with a little less family time.  This time around, I certainly did the exploring part for Seoul, but the family was still there.  That’ll be inevitable…but I’m kind of glad I have it.