Ohayo. Ohayo. New Jersey.

My international driver’s license is set to expire at the end of July, and unless I want to repeat the mistakes of other ALTs, I’ll be taking the test for my Japanese driver’s license this month.  Just to set the scene…pretty much only Americans have to take the driver’s test to switch over to a Japanese license.  Folks from any of the Commonwealth countries (New Zealand, Canada, Australia, Britain, etc) and some other countries are lucky enough that they can switch over with just an official translation of their original license.  Apparently it’s based on the supposed difficulties of the respective country’s driver’s tests, but I have my suspicions.  From day one, I have heard horror stories of the wacky and absurd Japanese driver’s test and the ominous presumption that no one ever passes it on the first go.  I took these warnings with a grain of salt, especially since I had at least three friends that had passed the test their first time.

Now, heh, well…people were certainly not understating the screwiness of this test.  I had my first lesson, at 7am (!) on a workday, and boy howdy was it frustrating.  First, these little lessons are expensive, so that’s already under my skin.  Next, there are innumerable quirks that I have to remember each time I get into the car and get out of it.  Walk behind the car, not in front.  Check in front of the car for any sleeping hobos.  Before you open the door, look both ways.  Getting into the car feet-first is a BIG no-no.  When you close the door from the inside, only close it most of the way and look back again to check for those on-coming cyclists.  Adjust your seat.  Put on your seatbelt.  Check your mirrors (no glancing here, actual physical touch is required).  Put your foot on the brake.  Start the engine.  Release the emergency brake.  Put the car in drive.  Turn on your blinker (or as my instructor called it, “winker.”  *chuckle chuckle*).  Check around starting from your back left to your back right.  Then slowly pull out.  Yikes!  And that’s only to get out of the parking enclave.  So no doubt, as you can see, this is a MAJOR pain in the ass.  I don’t know yet if there are minor infractions you can get away with or if everything is a major “DA-ME” and you fail if you forget one thing.  My instructor was very thorough, which was nice, BUT she kept on using the brake and putting her hands on the steering wheel so it often felt like she was doing the important parts.  And of course, lacking the language facilities to request otherwise, I had a subpar learning experience.  The good news is that she didn’t think I was incompetent and thought I would be definitely ready for the test after one more lesson (that’s another 60 bucks for her).

I’ll leave you all with my favorite little tidbits from the lesson:

1. Hug the curbs so you can be sure to hit those kids on bikes if they suddenly move off the path.  Not really, but seriously, they want you to be within 50cm of the curb.
2. Use your blinker/winker a LOT.
3. No brakes allowed on turns.

Good luck!

Update: You can add another name to the list of folks that passed the test the first time!  Woo hoo.  I’m now an officially licensed Japanese driver.  You know what that means!  I can do ANYTHING! (so long as I have my hazards on)